How Narcissists Are Brainwashed and Empaths are Rebels - Connect N' Ground



In the infamous paranormal love drama, Twilight, Bella Swan rebelled, leaving her family for ann ancient undead man trapped in a beautiful young man's body. The vampire could have had her for supper at any time. How old was Edward Cullen anyway, like 3000 years old? The love was taboo as it was dangerous, an affair between a demon and a human.


But Bella didn't care. She risked her life for the unknown and didn't mind disturbing her father and the entire community to score her lethal boyfriend.



Edward, the vampire, is a parasite, so-to-speak. He and his family live off the blood of other animals. They are cold, uninviting, and deadly. Yet they are seen as the most beautiful humans. They hide who they really are, constantly staying in the shade and moving from place to place to evade detection. In a lot of ways, they are similar to narcissists.


Whether or not author Stephenie Meyer was thinking of this concept during the story's creation will remain a mystery but Edward had no problem getting women and the fans drawn in all while doing all the typical narc behavior. The love-bombing, the withdrawing, the explosive anger, the leaving of Bella at the drop of a hat claiming it's only to protect her, the taking of Bella away from her home, isolating her from her family and friends.


Was Edward Cullen a Narcissists FORREAL tho?


Edward was psychic but couldn't read what went on in Bella's mind. While we can never know for certain if Edward Cullen was just a depiction of a narcissist wanting to lure in his hard-to-read prey with all the romantic traps any teen girl could ever dream of, their romance is the perfect example for this post's topic: Narcissists are Brainwashed and Empaths are Rebels.


Are we All Narcissistic?


We are all narcissistic in various ways and a healthy dose of the trait is actually a positive thing. For certain individuals, however, they are so high on the spectrum that it becomes toxic, even for them. As much as we call them demons no one wants to lose friends and burn through everything good. Anger is pain after all and these people need help. Now, before we dive into today's topic, I just want to highlight that narcissism can be found in women, too. In no way is this post meant to pick on males or be sexist. An empath can very well be male, but for the sake of simplicity in this post, we are going to stick to mainly male pronouns when talking about narcissism, though we are sure there are a lot of tender-hearted men out there!


OK, LEVEL UP Might Get Boycotted for This

Sympathizing with abusive people isn't what we stand for, but anyone can be abusive, can't they? Even if we don't come from a place of malice, we are all culprits of toxic behaviors that drive people crazy. Some of us are more selfish than others, but no one is perfect. We all have the potential to drive someone into the nuthouse, yet we are still humans with emotions, feelings, thoughts, and rights. This is the reality for narcissists, too. They are imperfect human beings. A lot of them are men. And though their lives can seem easier from the outside, a lot of them are in pain. If we are all trying to raise our awareness and consciousness on this planet, they need and deserve help also.


"We all have the potential to drive someone into the nut house, yet we are still humans with emotions, feelings, thoughts, and rights. This is the reality for narcissists, too. They are imperfect human beings. A lot of them are men. And though their lives can seem easier from the outside, a lot of them are in pain. "

Think about it for a moment. What is the only emotion narcissists seem to display in full depth? Anger. If anger is pain what does that say? Smiles can be forced all day. But what about the blind rage that makes you lash out or hurt someone? Think about the wealthy man that suddenly takes his life. Or even the starving men in third world countries that are abusive to women.


People who hurt others are wrong, period. But if we only discuss help and survival skills for the victims of their abuse we are only doing a disservice to ourselves. We are only invalidating them the way they've invalidated the victims and you can never out fire with fire. To lower the rate of abuse we need to go to the source after all. Focusing on only helping the victims is like shoveling water out a boat while the cracks that are causing the flooding remains unchecked.


You can never out fire with fire.

If you look around the world, there seems to be a major theme. Whether or not you want to sympathize with them, men everywhere are going crazy. Their crazy might not be in the form of tears or screaming in a hospital, but the increasing crime rates and loneliness. The increasing brutalities against women and helpless men in third world countries should be enough for us to wake up. It can begin to happen anywhere, and there needs to be more emotional health services dedicated to men. There need to be more opportunities for women as well, to be more protected in crisis areas. We can make a difference, no matter how small, by supporting organizations such as World Vision, Plan Canada, and Rock Flower.



The increasing brutalities against women and helpless men in third world countries should be enough for us to wake up. It can begin to happen anywhere.

Though the crimes against women and men who are helpless are sickening, we have to still find compassion somehow to solve the problem at the root. Just think about what happens when we invalidate people. They get defensive or they shut down. They attack or use newer strategies to fight with us. I think we all are forgetting the basic core of the connectedness we all have: when we help others we help ourselves. We have to share the world with other people who come from other perspectives no matter how hard we oppose it. Emotional health is needed for even the toughest looking people and the more we deny this the more desperate we become. Westerners call men narcissistic, but third worlders would wish that their men were simply narcissistic.


Emotional health is needed for even the toughest looking people and things get worst the more desperate we become.

Once we can start actively protecting the emotional health of men from an early age and start treating even narcissists as human beings, there should only be progress. Once again, when we help others we help ourselves. We are all connected in a delicate circle of dominos. Men are less likely to talk about their feelings, less likely to cry, less likely to check themselves into the hospital. They are in constant denial of their pain it's almost like they can't physically, mentally, and emotionally parent themselves. The maturity that women have is a form of being able to know and nurture themselves.


Narcissists can be looked at as little boys or little girls who have been conditioned enough to do what they are told even if it denies the rights of their emotions. When you encounter even a wealthy narcissist, you can sense that though they are rather well-to-do, they believe full-heartedly in a rigid system of extreme black and white views of what's right and wrongs. They may have seedy habits but they are almost robotic in everything they do. There are no other emotions to be seen but pride or anger and it is all fear-based. What will my father think, what will the boys think, what will women think, what will the world think? Whether you feel sorry for them or not, that's a lot of pressure and it eventually erupts in ways that affect innocent people.



The Less Resources The Darker things Get

When there are fewer resources things become worst for helpless people in communities. When people are starving their minds don't work properly. In poor countries and communities where people don't know where they'll get their next meal, there's usually little to no help from the government or educational systems to intervene if people behave badly. Put everything together and abuse and violence become the norm. Hurt people hurt others and women, the elderly, and children are seen as easy targets. Abuse becomes the aggressors' dark way of regulating their emotions. 4 women are killed every day in Brazil. The Minister of Justice and Public Security, Sérgio Moro, expressed that violence against women was a “negative side effect” of women’s growing participation and involvement in society. He said that men resorted to violence out of intimidation. “Domestic violence is due to this cultural defect, often an addiction, a criminal spirit,” he said.


Men are taught to be so self-important that the minute they lose a sense of control and power over women they turn to violence

The Media's Role



Films and other forms of media have a lot to do with how men see themselves in the world. Even if they have a nurturing home, the media parents the community, and the community takes a huge role in the development of people's beliefs about themselves, including their values. Men are not only stifling their emotions but the media trains them that theirs are the only ones that matter. Women are dehumanized in many ways. Even the slightest autonomy of women provokes violent uproar in men that is totally different from the anger is pain argument. This is a toxic self-entitlement. Men also have the support of other men. The brotherhood is usually stronger than any sisterhood because women are programmed to hate each other for the benefit of abusers. Without real value given to the perspectives of the nurturing woman in society, men guide each other in a toxic imbalance. The woman is blamed for everything but she is given no power. True disaster comes when a culture's brotherhood runs deep with narcissists, all just sharing unhealthy coping mechanisms with each other.


True disaster comes when a cultures brotherhood runs deep with narcissists, all just sharing unhealthy coping mechanisms with each other.

Closing Thoughts


Narcissism is a behavior that, like any addiction, ties it's sufferer to it no matter the inevitable downfall. No matter the consequences, if there is no intervention the addiction persists. Narcissists know their behavior hurts them eventually but they continue simply because they can. Healthier ways are more painful. Finally, if there is no progress for people we call narcissists, how can there be progress for people we call empaths? Empaths are the creatives, the nurturers, the writers, and singers, the artists that call on the universe before calling on any brute physical force. Empaths are the rebels, free in spirit if not in status. Hopefully one day we can teach this power to the people who desperately need it and hopefully one day they'll listen.


If you believe in the connectedness we all share and would like to help men and women in third world countries, please see our Men's Health Worldwide Tour program. "Because when we help each other, we are helping ourselves."