How to Stop Caring What People Think

When you care what people think, not only are you living in fear but you are constantly hiding who you really are. You may feel stifled, stressed, and unable to "act normal" around people. You may feel like you're in a mental cage. You may have guilt when asking for things, or feel ashamed to have dreams and desires.

First of all, it's not your fault. In society, where beauty and class standards place some people on a pedestal and shrink others, it's normal to feel a bit uneasy when walking amongst strangers. What people think about you can affect your life as well, not just internally, where your emotions are concerned, but financially and socially. We all need at least a few people to like us and understand us.


That being said, some of us are quite unique and the challenge is getting to love ourselves enough to be ourselves 24/7. This is the goal for people with BPD who burn through identities, rejecting then embracing self-love. You have to first be okay with being different, weird, and even the "crazy" person. You might not be everyone's cup of tea but the right people always shows up when you need them, thanks to the amazing universe. When you are coming from a place of self-love and acceptance and love for people at large, no matter how different you are, your people will always find you.


There are several practical ways/mental frames you can use to literally stop caring what other people think as early as today.


1. Focus on Yourself


Many times people seek outside sources to tell them who they should be. We are used to copying what we see on TV or what we see our peers doing. As humans, we tend to also want what others have. But comparing yourself to others only does two things: you end up chasing goals that weren't meant for you, and you end up coming outside of alignment with yourself. This is when identity confusion can crop up. Once you start to look externally, you also trigger a sense of self-rejection that subconsciously brings about shame.


On the contrary, once you do what you want to do and focus on your own energy and lane, you are going to feel more confident. Remember, there is only one you and that is what makes you beautiful, special, and valuable. Only you have lived the experiences you have, only you know how to move through life the way that ultimately best suits you. When you focus on yourself, something magical happens. You allow the special life force that we all have, to ignite inside you and you ultimately blossom into the best version. You transform over time, getting better and better, instead of staying stagnant.


2. Seek No Validation or Approval


Ever been the person to say something then look around to read the expression of everyone in the room? Yeah, we've all been there. It's so easy to get caught up with other's expectations of us or idea of us. It's so easy to reject ourselves, especially if we've been severely invalidated, whether it be by family, peers, or society at large. But when you constantly seek validation or approval from people you tell yourself that you can only operate within a certain frame. You start to second guess every move.


When you act from self-acceptance and love, you aren't asking anyone to give you a thumbs up. And if they give you a thumbs down it doesn't affect you because again you aren't asking them. So next time to post something on social media, say something in public, or even put on clothing for the day, ask yourself, Is this for me, or am I seeking approval? An I don't give a frigg attitude can ignite instantly but it is a muscle you have to build to use when the times get turbulent. So start being yourself completely today without needing to be accepted. It is your life and you decide the filters, rules, and ideas that run through your mind.


3. Believe There are No Mistakes


The horrible thing going around society is the need to be perfect and likable 24/7. Is the need to look sane and cool. Unfortunately, these mindsets are holding many of us back. There is no room to play, there is no room to be ourselves. We all are sort of working off some scripts. It's no wonder depression is major. This is no way to live. I like to believe there are no mistakes. Even the worse most humiliating experiences and setbacks can be viewed as forward movement. The universe holds every soul in a special place in which it's sole purpose is to bring forth joy, love, and enlightenment to that soul. If you are trying to do what is right, therefore, even when things are out of control or messy, even when you think you are being set back, it is only forward movement. I like to think of my life and interactions with people as a stream of consciousness.


Because I believe in the law of attraction, even when I make a public mockery of myself, I am still putting seeds of growth into the atmosphere for me to benefit from later. My motto is as long as what I am doing is truthful and for the benefit of myself with others in mind, it is acceptable. Even when I yell at people, I believe I am teaching them a lesson. In this matrix where everything is so still and structured, it's hard to believe we are still at battle as if in the times of the wilderness. But we are. So never back down from doing what you need to do to outmaneuver an opponent. And if you are like me, who believes in witchcraft, cast a spell with an outlandish action no matter how much onlookers want to laugh.


4. Believe in Karma and Magic!


What if we all get what we deserve in the end? What if just by your continuous good deeds for yourself and for other people, your trust in the universe, your gratitude, and your lust for life turn things in your favor over time? Sometimes life can be a long hard process and when you've been hurt by people countless times it's easy to put the sword down. But I have a what doesn't kill you make you stronger attitude. I have started to look at the stones people throw as materials to build a stronger empire for myself. And so should you. There is even a belief in the law of attraction that the more people criticize you the closer you are to succeed. They are giving you their energy and trying to negatively affect you but the universe only sees it as fuel your way.


Magic is real whether you want to believe it or not. It is simply the idea that our thoughts, desires, and energies can manipulate the world around us. If you dabble into it you might see for yourself. Something as little as lighting sage and smudging yourself and the house to keep away negative energies can lift your spirits and give you a sense of protection. Something as little as lighting a pink candle and saying a love spell may fill your heart with enough warmth and romance that you'll sleep sounder than you ever did that night.


We are all magical beings even without trying to be. Just think back to a time when you really absolutely needed something and the right person texted you or the right opportunity came just in time. With magic and a sense of karma and trust in the universe, you won't have time to care what people think. You'll be seeing yourself as the strong butterfly you are, leveling up even throughout your struggles and pains.


5. Know Yourself/Love Yourself


If you are aware of your flaws and insecurities but still believe in your mind that you are the most beautiful God or Goddess, people can say something to you about your looks and it won't have an effect on you. They could say you're beautiful and it will have as little influence over you as them calling you ugly. Likewise, if you think something you're wearing is cool, then there is no hesitation about how you look when you get weird looks. If you know you're smart, even when people question your judgment you will go forward believing in yourself. When you know and accept yourself, you stay confident and continuous in your plans and ideas about yourself, because ultimately you have the final say.