Risk Planning: Strategies for Interpersonal Blocks - DBT Skill - Interpersonal

As you've been introduced to, there are aversive strategies that act as interpersonal blocks. For whatever reason, hurt, insecure, or just plain angry people may use aversive strategies on people they find threatening, inferior, or as a coping style for their own struggles.


Aversive strategies can lead people to blow up, deterioate mentally, and even develop long-term mental issues. Aversaive strategies are the narcissists bests tools. They weaken the victim enough and cause enough mental, emotional, and psychologcal wounds that eventually the person blows up and ends up looking like the one who was wrong to begin with.


The 8 aversive strategies are:

  1. Discounting - letting the other person know that his or her feelings does not matter. Everyone has their own experience, so it is important to validate even the experiences you aren't walking through. But toxic relationships are as such: if I'm not cold you're not cold.

  2. Withdrawing/abandoning: Do what I want or I'm leaving. Enough of this emotional wound and someone can easily develop people pleasing behaviors.

  3. Threatening: the message is do what I want or I'll hurt you.

  4. Blaming: Whatever the problem is, it automatically is the victim's fault. It doesn't matter if the narcissist played a major role.

  5. Belittling/denigrating: This makes the other person feel foolish, inferior, or guilty for having a need/feeling/opinion.

  6. Guilt-tripping: This conveys the message that the other person is a moral failure.

  7. Derailing: This switches away from the person's feelings and needs to your own.

  8. Taking away: This withdraws support if the person doesn't buckle to your demands or has flaws.

Other interpersonal blocks: severe myths about yourself and others, fear, toxic relationships that keep you in a low vibration, overwhelming emotion that clouds judgement, a passive stance in situations, an overly aggressive stance in situations, toxic self-hate, crippling self-pity, and an unhopeful outlook on life.


Half of The Solution


There is a plethora of coping habits for distress such as ice on the nape of neck, eating or drinking someting healthy, intense workout, paced breathing, distractions, and self encouraging thoughts. However, there is one unlisted solution I found works best when dealing with toxic people's aversive strategies. That's to speak the truth. Speaking the truth gains you respect, trust, but most importantly it allows you to observe and act on what feels right instead of what you think others want. If you have love for yourself you wouldn't just put up with toxic interpersonal blocks, would you? No, you will speak up for yourself and demand respect. You would speak your truth, being humble to make waves of change wheerver possible. This is one strategy that I use that has worked best for me. As a woman of color I am at risk daily of being invalidated in friendships, love, the workplace, and basic public gatherings. However, when you speak the truth and see that you deserve equal respect and resources, care, and room to thrive, then you'll become a magnet to your needs even when there are interpersonal blocks.


Knowing the Two Types of People


Another solution in overcoming interpersonal blocks is knowing the two types of people and avoiding the toxic ones at all cost. There are two types of people. Ones who who are empathic and ones who are more narcissistic. The importance of knowing the difference is for you to then avoid the toxic people. Toxic people act like parasites. No matter how much you put into the relationship, no matter how kind you are, ultimately it will never be enough. Selfish people don't see you as a whole person because they inside aren't whole. Instead they view people as objects from which to obtain resources whether it may be temporary companionship, information, support, or financial resources. It is important that you focus on your kind of people and learn to detect when someone is hurting your energy with theirs. We are going to look into energy more later in the posts.


Risk Planning


Using the following format, make a coping plan, visualizing the interpersonal block and the coping skill you are going to use.



Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:

Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:

Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:

Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:

Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:

Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:

Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:

Interpersonal Block:

Skill:

Resources:


Risk Assessment


We sometimes want to do another activity called risk assement for those of us who catastrophize. This chart allows us to see the clearer picture behind our fears. Make your own chart with the following example or grab a copy from the Fileshare center.




Recent Posts

See All